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	<title>Self Help and Personal Development | Steves Goal</title>
	
	<link>http://www.stevesgoal.com</link>
	<description>Self Help, Confidence Boost, Productivity, Time Management, Self Improvement, Self Development</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:12:48 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Failure = Multitasking !</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/391045891/failure-multitasking.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/failure-multitasking.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:12:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multitasking]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[single handling]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[time management]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/?p=123</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[No, I&#8217;m not joking. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people&#8217;s failures come because the project that failed was not given enough attention. Whilst it is possible to multitask and see benefits, I suspect that this generally only occurs when the tasks do not conflict, are short and happen within a confined time [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>No, I&#8217;m not joking. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people&#8217;s failures come because the project that failed was not given enough attention. Whilst it is possible to multitask and see benefits, I suspect that this generally only occurs when the tasks do not conflict, are short and happen within a confined time frame.</p>
<p>Multi-tasking works in those situations where each component task is either less demanding or demanding in a way that doesn&#8217;t encroach on the skills required for the other components. Once you begin to create longer term plans multi-tasking isn&#8217;t usually possible with any level of efficiency.</p>
<p>So, what is the solution?</p>
<p>Well, I think the key to understanding the failure of projects in multitasking is in the word itself. Multitasking means multiple tasks, a task being a low expenditure actiivty with a direct payoff on completion. It is not called multigoaling. How daft does that sound, the very word multigoaling suggests that it would be a foolish thing to pursue.</p>
<p>As timescales get longer and deadlines get further away from our current time, they become less real and as a result it is much harder to focus. Now, I know many of you will have been screaming at the start of this article that success simply requires focus and that is why multi tasking doesn&#8217;t work for long term goals. You would be right - I am a strong advocate of what I used to refer to as single tasking or single handling.</p>
<p>I now think that single handling is the most appropriate phrase. Tasks can and should be multitasked wherever possible as tasks by their definition are never long term and don&#8217;t tax our resources or drain our focus the way goals will.</p>
<p>So, I&#8217;m no longer against multitasking of tasks - but goals should always be single handled. If you can break your workday up into singlehandled events and multitasks I think you might see a much better success ratio than if you abandon one philosphy or the other. I&#8217;ve definately found that delegating my activities into the right segement has helped improve me efficiency no end!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Sorry About The Wait….</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/376517036/sorry-about-the-wait.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/sorry-about-the-wait.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:14:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Hi all, sorry that Stevesgoal hasn&#8217;t been updated in a while. Firstly I was at a castle in Scotland for a family wedding, and then everything just went crazy. I havn&#8217;t even had Internet access for the past week. Anyway, things should be more back to normal now, and I hope to have some more [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi all, sorry that Stevesgoal hasn&#8217;t been updated in a while. Firstly I was at a castle in Scotland for a family wedding, and then everything just went crazy. I havn&#8217;t even had Internet access for the past week. Anyway, things should be more back to normal now, and I hope to have some more super-useful advice on all things self-improvement soon!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Motivation Is As Easy As….</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/330985203/motivation-is-as-easy-as.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/motivation-is-as-easy-as.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:06:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[movement]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[succes]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/?p=121</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Moving. Yep. In case you didn&#8217;t guess, motivation as word has strong links to motion. Often, it is the act of doing something that brings about motivation. Whilst you could see that as circular logic, with motivation being required to self motivate, the truth is rather more promising.
If we agree for a moment that motivation [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Moving. Yep. In case you didn&#8217;t guess, motivation as word has strong links to motion. Often, it is the act of doing something that brings about motivation. Whilst you could see that as circular logic, with motivation being required to self motivate, the truth is rather more promising.</p>
<p>If we agree for a moment that motivation comes from action or motion then the next most important thing to deciede is if the motivator required to kickstart your motivation needs to be the same type of motion/action or not. If it were the same, then motivation would end up being a virtous or vicious cycle, depending on your initial success.</p>
<p>Luckily this is not the case. I have found such simple things as going for a long walk, deep breathing and swimming are often enough to provide the motivation kickstart I require. Having said that, there is some truth also, to the idea of motivation as a cycle. If you take on too much to begin with and then fail, you are much more likely to fall into a despondant mood and give up.</p>
<p>So, for me at least, the key is to take some physical action, such as swimming and then once motivated, tackle a very small part of the task to ensure that I have a high chance of creating a sort of feedback loop of success that keeps me motivated. Why not try it yourself?</p>
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		<title>Law Of Attraction - Pile Of Rubbish - Here’s Why</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/318069287/law-of-attraction-pile-of-rubbish-heres-why.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/law-of-attraction-pile-of-rubbish-heres-why.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:17:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/?p=120</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ok, I gave it a go. I tried to leverage the &#8220;power of intention&#8221; / &#8220;law of attraction&#8221; thing for the past month as part of my Steveslab feature. I don&#8217;t like theorecticl stuff but I do enjoy testing and I just had to know if the latest cash cow doing the self improvement circuit [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, I gave it a go. I tried to leverage the &#8220;power of intention&#8221; / &#8220;law of attraction&#8221; thing for the past month as part of my Steveslab feature. I don&#8217;t like theorecticl stuff but I do enjoy testing and I just had to know if the latest cash cow doing the self improvement circuit was of any real use, or it it was a way to fill up space and sell products. </p>
<p>My conclusion - the law of attraction, as stated by many, is nothing more than a pile of rubbish. In my previous entry I mentioned a study done at PEAR, and the pioneering research into human intention and how it can effect entropy. However, I don&#8217;t feel that this scales up, at least in the way the law of attraction predicts.</p>
<p>In brief, the law of attraction states that whatever you focus on will come your way. I beleive that. What I don&#8217;t believe in, and why I did this experiment, is the notion that there is some sort of cosmic force that will then work to deliver on things that the most committed focus on. The whole thing is too vague and ill defined to win me over anyway. From a more objective point of view, I just don&#8217;t believe that this new definition of the law of attraction is correct.</p>
<p>What I do beleive is that the law of attraction is a very real, very effective force that can change your life. Its nothing paranormal though, its just that the concentration that you invested results in you spotting opportunities that would normally slip you by. For me, it is as simple as that.</p>
<p>Steveslabe casefile 1. Closed.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>The Power Of Intention</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/300504039/the-power-of-intention.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/the-power-of-intention.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 May 2008 11:50:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[intention]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[pear]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Positive Thinking]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[princeton]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[visualisation]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[visualization]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/?p=119</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Stevesgoal is generally a very down to earth self improvement blog, avoiding most of the more esoteric adventures that other personal developmenet sites seem to go on. My new feature - &#8220;Steveslab&#8221; is about as far out as this site will get, testing my theories and then reporting back on the results.
One thing that has [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Stevesgoal is generally a very down to earth self improvement blog, avoiding most of the more esoteric adventures that other personal developmenet sites seem to go on. My new feature - &#8220;Steveslab&#8221; is about as far out as this site will get, testing my theories and then reporting back on the results.</p>
<p>One thing that has always interested me is the power of intetion - in other words, does the desire for something to be done or something to happen have any actual effect on the outcome? From my perspective there must be some effect even if it is only caused by psychological factors. We all know, or should be now, that a happy positive outlook is much more likely to lead to success than a negative one, if for nothing else than that negative people tend to sabotage their own success.</p>
<p>The other component that could be ascribed to the power of intention is some sort of actual universal phenomena, described by many as the &#8220;law of attraction&#8221; which says that what we concentrate on comes into our lives. This obviously presupposes some sort of paranormal phenomena, although I dislike the term and would call it outside the known physical reality - paranomal conjures up too much ghosty type stuff for my liking.</p>
<p>Anyway, its hard to say if this second componenet, the non psychological one, has any real bearing. Up until recently I would have said that this compenent was not real and any percieved results were due to wishful thinking. However, after a recent foray onto the Princeton website (Princeton.edu) and reading over the latest research from PEAR - the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research lab, I am unsure what to think.</p>
<p>They have been conducting experiments which measure a persons ability to effect entropy. Entropy is the natural rate of change or decay of a system as it falls into disorder. All system tend towards greater entropy or chaos as they age, at least thats how the theory goes. The PEAR team measure entropy by using a random number generator based on radioactive decay, not a pseudo computer random generator and tested people&#8217;s ability to alter the output of the generator. </p>
<p>Whilst on an individual level the results were nothing amazing, when taken as a whole, over a number of years the experiment has revealed a very distinct bias in entropy that can be caused by the humna mind. Now, I don&#8217;t know if this due to some flaw in the logic of the experimnet, a poor analysis of the statistical data or due to some explainable phenomena, but if it is not, then this is the clearest proof ever that people&#8217;s intentions do effect their physical relationship.</p>
<p>As such I think we should all reconsider the importance of positive thinking and visualisation in our lives. I hope to have some sort of small experiment for Steveslab to try fairly soon!</p>
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		<title>Time Management For Enjoying Yourself!</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/286797987/time-management-for-enjoying-yourself.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/time-management-for-enjoying-yourself.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 12:38:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[brian tracy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[forced efficiency]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[leisure]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tasks]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[time managment]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/?p=118</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am convinced that many of us under perform. I know I do, most days I am very inefficient with time. Now, many people who argue for time management claim that the point of time management is to become more efficient and more successful. That&#8217;s all very well, but I also beleive that there is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am convinced that many of us under perform. I know I do, most days I am very inefficient with time. Now, many people who argue for time management claim that the point of time management is to become more efficient and more successful. That&#8217;s all very well, but I also beleive that there is no point flogging a dead horse!</p>
<p>What do I mean by that? Well, some days you may not be very productive, regardless of your time management skills. Time management alone doesn&#8217;t guarentee efficiency and I am fim believer that relaxation and &#8220;fun&#8221; time is just as important and work time.</p>
<p>What does&#8217;t make sense to me is when peopl strictly organise their day, get ahead of schedule and cram extra work in, usually from tomorrows to do list. I should know, that used to be me a few months ago. What I began to realise was, that my work day constantly expanded to fill my whole day, unless I marked out time for my work day to end and my leisure day to being. </p>
<p>The point of what I am trying to say is that you need to learn to confine your work day to a set number of hours, whenever possible. Obviously, this doesn&#8217;t work all the time and some days you will need to work over, but I have found, time and time again, that compacting your work day into a set few hours brings another self improvement &#8216;law&#8217; into play.</p>
<p>The law of forced efficiency is something that I picked up from Brian Tracy and it absolutely does work. For some reason the human mind will always spread to fill the time available. By setting deadlines for task, rather than thinking, I have a whole day for this, you will complete the task much quicker and have more free time.</p>
<p>Except, you shouldn&#8217;t leave this time as free time, you should block out specific time - your leisure time. Once you have mastered basic time management you are at risk of becoming a work aholic and alsoof becoming inefficenct due to a lack of work boundaries. Your newly found efficiency due to time management makes you take on more and more work, and your liesure time suffers more than ever.</p>
<p>Only by taking your non working time seriously and planning it out in advanced can you maintain or even improve your efficiency and well being. Crazy, but true, at least in my experience.</p>
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		<title>Fantastic Online Relaxation Resource</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/276029303/fantastic-online-relaxation-resource.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/fantastic-online-relaxation-resource.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:15:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Mental Techniques]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relaxation]]></category>

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	<category>relaxtion</category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Hey Guys, I just wanted to give a quick mention to something that has really helped me out - relaxtion wise.Relaxing is important. Relaxing is important. There is some weirdy beardy who I used to work with (well sort of) who has just started up some marketing venture selling &#8216;meditation videos&#8217; and selling DVD&#8217;s, CD&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Guys, I just wanted to give a quick mention to something that has really helped me out - relaxtion wise.Relaxing is important. Relaxing is important. There is some weirdy beardy who I used to work with (well sort of) who has just started up some marketing venture selling &#8216;meditation videos&#8217; and selling DVD&#8217;s, CD&#8217;s and so on. Now, I&#8217;m not suggesting you go away and buy his crappy videos.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t like the word meditation as it stands out as being a bit &#8216;new world&#8217;<br />
and there is nothing about me that fits into this genre. However, relaxing sometimes is important. It helps us refresh our minds and I always find this is done best during or after lunch, meaning you&#8217;ll be refreshed and invigorated for the afternoons work and you&#8217;ll be able to carry on being as productive as you were when you started work in the morning. Listening to some calming music, be it classical or cafe med/Ibiza style chill out, or even just sitting down in the garden during the summer at lunch if you work from home and having some fresh air and listening to the sounds of the birds and breeze of the wind can really help.</p>
<p>This <a href="http://www.birdsongradio.com/">relaxing radio station</a> has just been launched by someone I know, it&#8217;s pretty damn good for this purpose and you can even run it during the day on your computer when you&#8217;re at work<br />
- I&#8217;d strongly advise you check it out and give it a shot, see if it helps improve your work drive;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.birdsongradio.com/">http://www.birdsongradio.com/</a></p>
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		<title>Accountability - Keeping To Your Goals In the Long Term</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/268509735/accountability-keeping-to-your-goals-in-the-long-term.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/accountability-keeping-to-your-goals-in-the-long-term.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:33:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Goal Setting]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Success Dynamics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Time Keeping]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[accountability]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[forums]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stevesgoal.com/accountability-keeping-to-your-goals-in-the-long-term.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are many techniques to motivate ourselves, many ways to manage time and increase our results. It is easy to find a multitude of ways to gain leverage over a situation and gain massive results. Yet, none of this matters if you give up before you reach your goal. A large  part of sticking with the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There are many techniques to motivate ourselves, many ways to manage time and increase our results. It is easy to find a multitude of ways to gain leverage over a situation and gain massive results. Yet, none of this matters if you give up before you reach your goal. A large  part of sticking with the journey of personal development is having a clear goal and sufficient motivation along the way.</p>
<p> Yet, the raw truth is that it is highly likely that at some point you will falter and doubt yourself. It certainly helps to have a variety of your tools in your personal development &#8221;backpack&#8221; but there should always be a last line of defense.What is this last line of defense ? Accountability is the the final thing that can save your goals from ending up on a list of resolutions you later dropped. By accountability I mean the process of setting milestones, recording them and hopefully someone other than yourself being made aware of this at the start and expecting regular updates. Furthermore, they should be able to compare your success at intervals with the progress you predicted or was required to reach your goal.</p>
<p>Now, a lot of people would avoid any form of serious accountability  due to embarrassment and awkwardness. The thing is a lot of this awkwardness is due to the possibility of failure and even more importantly the knowledge that someone else will know you will fail. In other words, people avoid accountability in case they fail, which in some ways is allowing yourself, or preparing yourself, for the possibility of failure. Now, to my mind, the more things you do, or to be more specific avoid, comitting 100% is bound to radically increase your chances of failure.</p>
<p>If you are tackling a goal which is particularly embarrassing then here is a simple solution - join a forum, maybe related to your goal, and get a few other posters involved and give them  your schedule so that you can be accountable to them.The long and short of it is, that the only reason (most of the time) to not avoid accountability is the fear and  acceptance of the possibility of failure. </p>
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		<title>Personal Social Goals Experiments - Steve’sLab - New For Stevesgoal</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/264568352/personal-social-goals-experiments-steveslab-new-for-stevesgoal.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/personal-social-goals-experiments-steveslab-new-for-stevesgoal.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:58:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[experiments]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[lunch hour]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal social goals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[practical]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[As most of you might have realised by now, Stevesgoal is a personal development site. However, unlike other blogs that cover self improvement and personal social goal setting, I tend to avoid highly theoretical stuff,  spiritual concepts and ideas that tend to verge on the paranormal. I&#8217;m not saying this to put down other blogs [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As most of you might have realised by now, Stevesgoal is a personal development site. However, unlike other blogs that cover self improvement and personal social goal setting, I tend to avoid highly theoretical stuff,  spiritual concepts and ideas that tend to verge on the paranormal. I&#8217;m not saying this to put down other blogs - they are simply doing what a blog should do - express beliefs and ideas. The fact is though, that whilst I might have ideas that are largely theorectical and other oddball concepts I have tried to keep this blog as both a diary of my own progress and a resource of practical no nonsense tips for self improvement.</p>
<p>I have read literally hundreds of self improvement books and audio tapes, and I have discovered masses of useful information. I have also found a lot of these tips surrounded by the authors own personal theories and a lot of waffling and unecessary padding. For book authors, I can understand how they want to introduce, summarise and put the self improvement advice into context, I am less sure I understand the need for massiv amounts of padding.</p>
<p>As well as self improvement I also have a strong interest in art, particularly asthetics, science and economics. So, to put that in English - provable, repeatable strategies that follow the basic principles of self improvement and that are highly economical in that they deliver the maximum results for the minimum of effort. Why shouldn&#8217;t posts themselves be the same - short snappy and clear - allowing you to get maximum results with the minimum of confusion.</p>
<p>All of these thoughts led me to two conclusions:</p>
<p>Firstly, I need to make posts more list and bullet point oriented. I also need to make sure that they are concise and easy to read. Stevegoal is read largely by people in their lunch time. As such, I need to tailor stevesgoal to be self improvement for your lunch break. </p>
<p>Secondly, I will be introducing a new catagory of posts called Stevelab, where I will put more of my theory testing and investigation. Normally this would go in regular posts under the relevant catagory - but this way people can read about the background of a strategy or technique if they want to, or just stick with the meat. Steveslab is there to create new methods and routes to self improvment, not just build on existing ones. That means that the ideas will be unusual, and still concise. My hope is that the result will be a collection of souped up, ultra concise tips for the next generation of personal developement.</p>
<p>Thirdly - Technical Issues. If you are having problems seeing stevegoal, just give the site a few minutes and refresh. Traffic has quadrupled since the start of 2008 and I really need to move server. This will probably happen along with a refocused branding exercise - &#8220;personal development in your lunch hour&#8221; or something like that, and new look for the site. This will the site will be on its sixth version, design wise.</p>
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		<title>Dealing With Enemies — Is Revenge And Destroying Them The Best Way ?</title>
		<link>http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/StevesGoal/~3/258610498/dealing-with-enemies-is-revenge-and-destroying-them-the-best-way.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.stevesgoal.com/dealing-with-enemies-is-revenge-and-destroying-them-the-best-way.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:07:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stevie</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Controversial]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dealing With Enemies]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Group Dynamics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Success Dynamics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[emotional baggage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[enemies]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[guilt.]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[letters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[revenge]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[socail humiliation]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Hey guys, the fact is that we all come accross &#8220;enemies&#8221; at points. Sometimes we make them, sometimes they make themselves. Bear that in mind - we &#8220;make enemies&#8221;, in other words, right until the battle lines are drawn, you have a chance to make them a friend. One powerful method I have found, and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey guys, the fact is that we all come accross &#8220;enemies&#8221; at points. Sometimes we make them, sometimes they make themselves. Bear that in mind - we &#8220;make enemies&#8221;, in other words, right until the battle lines are drawn, you have a chance to make them a friend. One powerful method I have found, and probably the best one for dealing with enemies is to act oblivious to their actions and intentions and instead treat them as your best friend and always find something super positive in even the worst thing that your enemy has done.</p>
<p>It is also important to clasify your enemy:</p>
<ul>
<li> 
<ul>
<li>Enemies of no or little reason</li>
<li>People who are only enemies in your mind</li>
<li>Enemies made through genuine error</li>
<li>Enemies who are an annoyance</li>
<li>Enemies who are persistant</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<p>The first group are those of spurious or poor reason, these people can often be won over with the &#8220;oblivious love&#8221; technique. Those made through genuine error or persistant fools from the first group have to be dealt with at a defcon 3 level, - suffucation through lack of attention, intentional ignoring, underreaction, lack of emotion, and damage control are the keys here. This starves them of oxygen, and at this point you can choose to move in with a random kind gesture to win them over, or attempt to write them off as a loss and cut them out of your lfie whereever possbile.</p>
<p>The last group are the most dangerous, and its here that I put the unstable,  the jealous, the angry, the obsessive. They too must have their attention oxygen starved, but ultimately some need dealing with. This might be a straightforward apology from your or you might be planning revenge. Rather typically I am going to advise against revenge of any other sort than doing exceptionally well in life (to annoy them) as the time taken and emotional drain placed on you will be horrific. As a serious student of economic self development, and by that I mean taking the path of greatest profit, you should avoid revenge at all costs.</p>
<p>Should you suceed, ensure the social humilation of your victim is absolute and untraceable. Even the slightest wiff of anything suspicous will make your enemy grow in strength and collect allies. Far better to expose your enemy for what they are and use their words and actions, and only theirs, unembelished to reveal them to others for what they are. Again, this revelation should be carefully dealt with, evidence collected and then revealed in one go.</p>
<p>At this point regardless of the group that your enemy falls into and regardless of your chosen method, you then to need to walk away from the situation. Excess emotion must be dealt with and if this is hard for you then I recommend writing a letter to your enemy explaining why they should not be your enemy, how you have reached a peace within yourself about the situation and how it has ended. Write it by hand with pen or pencil, pop it in a draw and pull it out in a week or two and reread. Keep repeating this process until the rereading process makes the writing feel out of date and lacking any impact on you. Then destroy the letters and move on. </p>
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